“I am about to turn 70 years old — here is what I have learned.” Life Transition Series: Going from A to C.

In this, the second in the This is my Transition series, I had the privilege of interviewing Vanessa Khol. Vanessa is about to turn 70 years old and has had a most remarkable life. She has owned 6 small businesses (including a toy store, pickle canning, plant store, and even cleaned homes during the “hard days”). During all this Vanessa taught elementary education for over 20 years, endured 3 marriages, two of which two were abusive and fought depression for much of her life. Just recently she stayed by her mothers side as she helped her leave this earth at 99 years of age even as the relationship became more child-like because of advanced Alzheimer’s Disease. Remarkably, Vanessa stands as one who continues to fight the good fight with joy and happiness after a life that might have just buried most of us.

Collin: You are about to turn 70. What do you feel you need to leave behind in this transition?

Vanessa: Actually I think I have been slowly getting prepared for this transition for quite a while. I am well aware of what I now need to leave behind as I round this corner and begin an exciting “next” journey.

I want to leave behind any ill feelings I might still have about negative situations of the past. This would include blame I might still harbor towards certain people in my past. I recognize that I certainly played a part in any unfortunate circumstance and made my share of poor decisions.

I may have to leave behind a friend or two and I am sorry for that but I am changing in many ways and moving on with fresh ideas and unfortunately this mindset may interfere with one or two old friendships.

I want to leave behind stagnation and walls of doubt. At 70 years old, I have nothing to lose……to try something new, go somewhere far from home, meet new and interesting friends, and to push my limits.

My desire and hope is to leave depression and anxiety behind if at all possible as it only holds me back. It’s a fight every day, but I am winning!

Collin: What are the opportunities and experiences from the past that you really want to honor, hold sacred, and take with you beyond this transition?

Vanessa: As I grow older and hopefully a little wiser, I would like to put my past in perspective. I have had beautiful homes and I have lived in a tiny trailer on a kiwi field. I have driven a new Mercedes and I have driven a beat up car with a broken windshield. Life can change with a “roll of the dice.” I have owned my own businesses, taught school, waited on tables and cleaned houses for other people. I have had beautiful parties with sterling silver utensils and I have waited tables to earn tips to buy gas for my car and feed my daughter. I have loved and been loved. I have resented and been resented. I have had many dreams go up in smoke, but I can honestly say that I see all of the past, the good and the bad, as a blessing. All that I have experienced has made me appreciate all the beauty that comes my way.

I appreciate my family more than ever and cherish even the most basic gesture of affection from my husband, children and grandchildren. I don’t dwell on the past, but welcome the future.

Collin: What are you saying “no” to? What are you saying “yes” to during this season?

Vanessa: I would like to say that I will say no to :

a. negativism

b. procrastination

c. laziness

d. fried food

e. junk food

Vanessa: I would say “yes” to:

a. travel

b. time with my family

c. patience

d. exercise

e. healthy living

f. helping others

Collin: Who do you want to be at the end of this transition?

Vanessa: My desire is to be a good wife, a loving mother, and a kind grandmother with no regrets and a love of God.

Collin: Who do you want by your side during this transition?

Vanessa: God and my family

Collin: That’s it?

Vanessa: In the end it is about who you love and who loves you.

Collin: As you desire to go through this transition well, what would you say is your “why?”

Vanessa: I suppose the “why” is all about the need to see this as a transition in the first place. My actual age is only a number, but how I carry myself through the next few years is up to me. I don’t have many “whys” anymore. I certainly am curious about the people my age that surround me.

I am observing people I have known all my life slowly age and give in way to early. They have put on weight (because they do not see the importance of exercise), lost their humor, taken themselves too seriously, constantly complain about anything and everything, struggling to conjure up a smile. I suppose if I had a “why”……..this would be it…….don’t give in to what society says your should be, act, and behave like. Be you.

It is this that compels me to try harder to be healthy and happy…I don’t want to one of those that gives up when the “transition” hits hard.

Collin: How will a successful transition be measured?

Vanessa: I believe the success of my transition will be measure by the smile on someone’s face. If I can model being a healthy, happy 70 year old and make someone smile, then I will be a success.

Collin: Anything else?

Vanessa: I have enjoyed answering these questions. It made me think about today and tomorrow and how I model myself.

I would like to add that God is a very important part of my life. I have made a promise to myself to complete the Bible by the end of this year. Staying in the Word is a very important part of my transition, because it makes me more aware of leaving the stress and worry up to God and not myself. The good Lord knows I have my days of worrying — once a mother; always a mother. During these times however, I try and refocus on steering in another direction and leaving the worrying up to Him. This has made all the difference.