I am “minimalizing” my minimalism.

I am still a sucker for the simplicity movement. If it were not for being a helpless foodie and two kids, I would have been the first to “live in a van down by the river.” In any case, my wife and I have jumped in with both feet these last two years and struggled with the reality of unraveling years of unnecessary purchases, absurd collections of outdoor gear, and calendar of time misappropriations. Kicking this new life off was the fact that we had just became empty-nesters and with that came the dream of extreme downsizing, minimizing our lives and shedding our closets of all but a few scant pieces of clothing.

We began this journey toward our new slim lifestyle by selling our large home in a nice suburb and moving to a smaller town and a small two bedroom. This turn of the century cottage was near my office so I can ride my green, efficient, bike there and back. This home purchase was followed by two exhausting garage sales, 1/2 our clothing and six thousand, half working Christmas lights out the door. We also decided to cut our satellite dish that provided all those wonderful channels we don’t watch. Ok, yes the house came with a hot tub but that falls in the category of “therapy” so it doesn’t count as a bloated asset of excess….right?

After all of that and to our embarrassment, we still could not get into our garage which is something that is still a work in progress. In addition to the previous purged items, we changed our diets quite a bit to a simple, fresh, eating approach (sticks, twigs, and a sprinkle of dirt) and I have given up a few of the 200 spice bottles in my pantry that I have collected over the years. I even started following a few “vanlife” Instagram bloggers and ratcheted up the reading of my favorite angry minimalist — Mr. Money Mustache, who from years past, encouraged me to continue down the path of debt-free living.

Now, fast-forward two years …..we are cramped. Our kids never really flew the nest, I miss a few of the hobbies I sold off (banjo, some fishing equipment, and a few pieces of camping gear). Our kitchen is so small my wife cannot hide the processed chocolate chip cookies from everyone and I cannot find my dog fencing for re-seeding my grass — oh wait I sold it. I almost snapped a piston the other day when I could not find the Thai spice for the pad thai I wanted to fix. I never did end up using those new, efficient, house projection lights and really miss hoisting my son up on the roof to help hang those old Christmas lights each year.

Wait just a minute. Am I backsliding from the dream of simplicity or was I never a REAL minimalist? Did I miscalculate the joys of this new life I read about?

The truth is that the process of minimizing our lives has been a big win but swinging that pendulum too far has left us with a few empty rooms in our hearts. I realized that some of those things I tossed out were some of the things that gave us joy. We began to list the things that were life-giving and also those that were life-sucking. In the end, we have made a decision to minimalize our “minimalization.”

Here is what I am keeping at a minimum:

1. I love my new simple diet plan. Since adopting this new simple diet I have lost 15lbs and feel like I am in my mid-20’s (Ok….maybe early 30's). Simple eating is just plain smart but I still enjoy a good bowl of ice cream every now and then.
2. I am not adding back my clothes. Getting rid of clothes I simply don’t wear weekly is a keeper. I love having less choices when thinking of my day. Yes, I might be missing the perfect shirt every now and then but everyone will get over it by 5pm each day.
3. I am continuing to disengage from the ridiculous array of social media “life suckers.” This is one I don’t regret for one moment. My career choice requires me to maintain a solid social media presence but I have shed the need to check it during the day and don’t need “likes” for my hourly shot of serotonin. Since ditching most people I don’t follow anyway I actually pay attention to the the trees more.
4. I like my cars and cards paid off. No brainer….nuf said. If I need to explain this one you have bigger problems. Go read Mr Money Mustache.
5. I will ride my bike more and drive less. I am lucky to live in a bike friendly town and will take full advantage of this option. It brings health, peace, and a sense of life.

Here is what I am taking back:

1. I am not giving up the hot tub. Everyone needs a hot tub. If you cannot afford one then fill up the bath and soak. It does wonders for the bod, mind, and soul.
2. I am buying a larger house. I am a father first and want my kids (and grandchildren) to be around as much as possible. I simply will not apologize for my selfish desire to have them with me till I breathe my last breath. If it takes buying UP to make that happen….so be it.
3. I am taking MORE vacations not LESS. I love to travel for pleasure and so this is one splurge I plan on taking. I may not always be able to do it 5 star but cutting travel out of my life for the sake of a minimal life is not valid for us. We need our time away and it can look different for everyone. For my wife and I, we love to camp, hike, and travel to interesting places. It brings us life…..and life-giving things are a blessing. If you can do it….do it.

1. I am collecting my spices again. I love to cook and part of that joy is having the tools at my disposal. If I have 200 spice jars, so be it. We all need a little spice in our life.
2. I invested in a small camper and gathered up some new fishing equipment. Being in the outdoors is one of life’s great experiences and we get to live in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Yes, I could use a old cloth tent and a $3 blanket, but as I age I like a little comfort to soften the blow after of taking on a 14,000ft peak. That camper IS my “little van down by the river.”

We have learned a lot over these last two years about ourselves, our REAL needs and our life-giving joys. In the end, this simplicity movement has real value to keep us focused on keeping the main thing the main thing. The truth, however, is that life is too short to forget that some of the things that make us the happiest are not necessarily simple or minimal but they bring people together…..and that is enough to keep them in our lives.

I call it balanced minimalism.